


it snakes a village

by Alaneii



Series: get tim drake off of social media 2kwhatever [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: (it's coming soon i promise), (yet again), Art, Art and Fic, Gen, Snakes, Social Media AU, Twitter Fic, Youtuber AU, also tim and kon are tentative friends by now and kon would be here, but they're bad at naming things, cw snakes, referenced and future batlantern, so the rest of the kents are here instead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:08:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27099367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alaneii/pseuds/Alaneii
Summary: (to pick a fucking name)A fic that is basically just Tim, on twitter, learning what it’s like to have a good parent and desperately trying to keep his fans on track for the mission.(So far it’s basically just snake puns.)
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne & Duke Thomas, Duke Thomas & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Hal Jordan, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Sebastian Ives
Series: get tim drake off of social media 2kwhatever [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927801
Comments: 25
Kudos: 113





	it snakes a village

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yeehaw_writes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeehaw_writes/gifts).



> The answer is no. No, I do not know how twitter works.
> 
> Another shout out to my friends clark and crow,, y’all are wonderful and so supportive and encouraging. This mess is all (your fault) because of you. Thank you.
> 
> their ao3s are coravao and ghostfaeries!! go check out their works maybe? they helped _so much._
> 
> art is by the wonderful cess!! you can find more of cess's art at https://wiitts-art.tumblr.com!! pls go support them  
> 
> 
> and a very belated happy birthday to Luke !!! ily lots, my friend. you deserve the world (and also a snake)

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:10am

greetings and well met. today i have both wonderful news that i definitely didn't cry over, and a quest

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:10am

@timothyjimothy an unexpected (by me) pro of gaining a new, cool parent:

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:11am

@timothyjimothy PETS ARE ACTUALLY AN OPTION !!!!!!!!

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:11am

@timothyjimothy yes i am so excited that i think my voice broke a window earlier. why do you ask

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:12am

@timothyjimothy anyhow anyhow,, I AM GETTING ! A SNAKE !

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:13am

@timothyjimothy this is obviously incredibly exciting news, and my fans will know how much this means to me,,, but yes i digress. this also means it is time,, for a QUEST

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:13am

@timothyjimothy (the quest is to give this snake a good name)

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:15am

@timothyjimothy so please! leave me ideas for snake names! puns are acceptable and are even encouraged! Whoever finds me the best name will get to be honorary god-parent, so give me good ideas and give me LOTS of ideas

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:15am

@timothyjimothy okay thanks love yall bye i’ll be waiting

* * *

**sarah the susan** @ _ihavedyslexiaoaky_ ✔️ 9:16am

@timothyjimothy ted

**bri-bery** @ _jellybaby_ 9:26am

@timothyjimothy spaghetti. macaroni. rigatoni. Penne.

**im real chill** @ _daxatax_ 9:28am

@timothyjimothy hiss-topher robin?

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:46am

@daxatax i like the robin part for some reason but i’m pretty sure this is a reference and i don’t know what the reference is, so

**im a quote natural paranoid** @ _eyesivesunwiseagonize_ 9:48am

@timothyjimothy it’s winnie the pooh, you heathen

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:49am

@eyesivesunwiseagonize listen. i am dumb.

**im a quote natural paranoid** @ _eyesivesunwiseagonize_ 9:49am

@timothyjimothy that’s all?

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 9:51am

@eyesivesunwiseagonize that’s all.

**jr herptologist** @ _adventurecharlie_ 9:59am

@timothyjimothy is it a boa? I hope so. I named my boa banana boat bc she’s yellow

**jr herptologist** @ _adventurecharlie_ 9:59am

@timothyjimothy holy shit, rocky bal-boa

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 10:08am

@adventurecharlie no not a boa, but do give Banana Boat my love

**kent remix 3.0** _@generaljontavious_ 10:10am

@timothyjimothy i like dogs best but if you don't get a dog you should name your snake dog. for me.

**clark** _@aardclark_ ✔️ 10:24am

@timothyjimothy @generaljontavious 1. Sir snakes a lot ?

**clark** _@aardclark_ ✔️ 10:24am

@timothyjimothy @generaljontavious 2. i'll buy you a dog, child o mine

**kent remix 3.0** _@generaljontavious_ 10:28am

@aardclark thanks dad youre the only dad i respect

**kent remix 3.0** _@generaljontavious_ 10:28am

@clarkkent bye dad i’m gonna live with my new dad now

**Clark J Kent** _@clarkkent_ ✔️ 10:45am

@generaljontavious @aardclark did you just steal my fucking son

**Lois Lane** _@ljlane_ ✔️ 10:55am

@clarkkent @aardclark actually you can take him that means more of ma's apple pie for us

**kent remix 3.0** _@generaljontavious_ 11:02am

@ljlane WAIT NO MOM I'M SORRY TAKE ME BACK

**tim** _@timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 11:10am

@generaljontavious love the fascinating familial drama here. give me snake names.

**kent remix 3.0** _@generaljontavious_ 11:11am

@timothyjimothy OH OH,, LUCILLE BALL

**im a quote natural paranoid** @ _eyesivesunwiseagonize_ 11:20am

@timothyjimothy wait tim what kind of snake are you getting

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 11:28am

@eyesivesunwiseagonize i am 90% sure...a corn snake.

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 11:28am

@eyesivesunwiseagonize there could be an issue but that's the plan, anyhow

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 11:28am

@eyesivesunwiseagonize we are about to head to lunch now, and then it's snake time, so i'll know for certain soon

**clark** _@aardclark_ ✔️ 11:30am

@timothyjimothy CORN SYRUP

**clark** _@aardclark_ ✔️ 11:31am

@timothyjimothy OR JUST SYRUP ITS CUTE AND YOU KEEP THE PUN but like sneaky

**crowseph** @ _crowo_ 12:12pm

@timothyjimothy name the snake after yourself,, jimothy

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 1:21pm

@crowo love that my fans have running jokes. hate the idea of being named jimothy

**reggie rights** @ _jatpfan01_ 1:21pm

@crowo @timothyjimothy maybe it's a girl snake, name her jimberly

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 1:25pm

@?? no don't gender my snake. they're better than that

**boogie woogie** @ _MAXHAZRAD_ 1:33pm

@timothyjimothy corn puns, you say? How about kernel sanders

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 1:36pm

@eyesivesunwiseagonize why did - listen i did not request corn puns,

**crowseph** @ _crowo_ 1:38pm

@timothyjimothy too late. What about ghengis corn

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 1:40pm

@crowo oh fuck that one’s actually tempting

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 1:40pm

@crowo ...maaaaybe

**cy** _@snorlaxx_ 1:45pm

@timothyjimothy cornrad

**they’re all 10/10** _@dailycatphotos_ 1:52pm

@timothyjimothy corney/korney (bc my friend korey will hate me for it)

**they’re all 10/10** _@dailycatphotos_ 1:53pm

@timothyjimothy or just korn, like the band

**r-iko** @ _notthehotel_ 2:08pm

@timothyjimothy hissington

**gothamite rights** _@jtodd36_ 2:12pm

@timothyjimothy macbeth, bc he was a fucking snake with no loyalty. like /someone else/ I know

**ive never made a pun in my life, officer** _@acrobitch_ 2:18pm

@timothyjimothy @jtodd36 I SAID I WAS SORRY AND I BOUGHT YOU 3 NEW ONES!!!!

**gothamite rights** _@jtodd36_ 2:20pm

@timothyjimothy @acrobitch MY NAME WAS WRITTEN ON IT!!! YOU KNEW IT WAS MINE!!! AND STILL YOU BETRAYED ME MY UNLOYAL BRETHREN

**damian** _@agamidae_ 2:22pm

@timothyjimothy @jtodd36 I don't understand why you are making such a big deal over this, Todd. It's merely a chocolate bar.

**gothamite rights** _@jtodd36_ 2:24pm

@timothyjimothy @agamidae say that to my face if you dare, you little brat

**damian** _@agamidae_ 2:28pm

@timothyjimothy @jtodd36 Then open your bedroom door and meet my fists, brother.

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 2:30pm

@jtodd36 wait is this jason wayne, son of bruce wayne

**gothamite rights** _@jtodd36_ 2:41pm

@timothyjimothy yes

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 2:46pm

@jtodd36 if i side with you on this chocolate bar thing, will you help me plot to make our dads date

**gothamite rights** _@jtodd36_ 2:50pm

@timothyjimothy ..that’s funny. yes it's a deal

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 2:51pm

@jtodd36 handshake emoji

**gothamite rights** _@jtodd36_ 2:51pm

@timothyjimothy handshake emoji

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 2:52pm

@jtodd36 @acrobitch DICKARD GRAYSON, MAN I HAVE NEVER MET, HOW COULD YOU

**ive never made a pun in my life, officer** _@acrobitch_ 2:54pm

@timothyjimothy my name is richard or dick im sure you know this

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 2:55pm

@acrobitch you better buy your brother (the cool one) 10 chocolate bars or you will regret it

**ive never made a pun in my life, officer** _@acrobitch_ 2:58pm

@timothyjimothy fine

**ive never made a pun in my life, officer** _@acrobitch_ 2:58pm

@timothyjimothy @vigilantepoet come on Duke let’s go get you some chocolate bars

**gothamite rights** _@jtodd36_ 2:58pm

@acrobitch >:O

**damian** _@agamidae_ 2:59pm

@jtodd36 @acrobitch >:O

**watch TLT musical, damn it** _@vigilantepoet_ 2:59pm

@acrobitch :D

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 3:01pm

@vigilantepoet @acrobitch wait this isn't getting me snake names. give me names

**watch TLT musical, damn it** _@vigilantepoet_ 3:06pm

@timothyjimothy ...snakey?

**ive never made a pun in my life, officer** _@acrobitch_ 3:08pm

@vigilantepoet @timothyjimothy nevermind. jason gets to be the cool one again

**oh and he's aro too** _@autisticashketchum_ 3:12pm

@acrobitch @timothyjimothy lmao get rekt. also, rumplesnakeskin

**tim drake stan** _@bettrthanmetropolisss_ 3:18pm

@timothyjimothy name him after Gotham

**greenwitch** _@transmascrights_ 3:26pm

@timothyjimothy Basil, short for basilisk

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 3:48pm

@bettrthanmetropolisss @transmascrights love your @’s and the names, but pls stop gendering my snake who i literally just met

**greenwitch** _@transmascrights_ 3:56pm

@timothyjimothy i’m sorry, yeah. how about,, Rivera? like sylvia rivera

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 4:00pm

@transmascrights it’s not a pun but i do like that idea...maybe i can combine rivera and vipera somehow

**Tony Hawk** @ _tonyhawk_ ✔️ 4:14pm

@timothyjimothy kickflip

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 4:30pm

@tonyhawk is this bc i post skateboard vids sometimes? y'all i swear it's just fun i'm not like obsessed

**what is happening** _@kubiszlukasik_ 4:35pm

@timothyjimothy my friend just gave me her phone and told me to make puns what

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 4:36pm

@kubiszlukasik i’m attempting to crowdfund a name for the snake i am soon getting and people keep getting off topic. I still have no name please help

**what is happening** _@kubiszlukasik_ 4:36pm

@timothyjimothy oh valid okay

**what is happening** _@kubiszlukasik_ 4:36pm

@timothyjimothy im in a hiss-tory mood, so. Henry Hissenger? Sir Francis Snake? Uhh maybe Francis Snakey (Scott Key) but I don’t think that’s clear enough…hm

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 4:38pm

@kubiszlukasik HOLY SHIT, SIR FRANCIS SNAKE

**what is happening** _@kubiszlukasik_ 4:40pm

@timothyjimothy uhh do you like it ?

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 4:55pm

@kubiszlukasik please meet your god-child, sir francis snake. Sir for short

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 4:55pm

@timothyjimothy @kubiszlukasik ([photo creds](https://wiitts-art.tumblr.com/) to me)

**what is happening** _@kubiszlukasik_ 4:56pm

@timothyjimothy i...i love them

**tim** @ _timothyjimothy_ ✔️ 6:10pm

@kubiszlukasik and they love you too

**Author's Note:**

> tim @timothyjimothy 11:11am  
> @acrobitch wait actually we,, we did meet once
> 
> ive never made a pun in my life, officer @acrobitch  
> @timothyjimothy like at a gala? i'm sure we did
> 
> tim @timothyjimothy 11:11am  
> @acrobitch no. something else.
> 
> tim @timothyjimothy 11:11am  
> @acrobitch ...let me DM you. I have something I think you'd like to see
> 
> (if you were wondering, "handshake emoji" is not bc of ao3 posting and emojis or anything. tim just types out the words handshake emoji because he thinks it's a funny way to seal a deal)
> 
> If you like this
> 
> 1\. i love you  
> 2\. either leave a comment and/or help me populate the tim drake & hal jordan tag (pls)
> 
> anyhow snakes are cool, hal is a good dad, tim is learning to heal, and there's a sequel to this that'll come later where damian and tim bond.
> 
> follow wiitts-art on tumblr


End file.
